Meal 1: mf pb crunch bar
Meal 2: mf oatmeal
Meal 3: mf brownie
Meal 4: mf strawberry shake
Snack: coffee
Back on track baby!!!!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Day 164 & Day 1
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mothers Day 2013
Mothers Day-
A day to celebrate life and love.
I definitely had an awesome weekend celebrating the special women in my life. I come from a long legacy of wonderful women. Mike comes from a long legacy of wonderful women.
Mothers are the most sacrificing people I know. They give of their entire selves for the sake of their children when they are young- It's actually quite a phenomenon when you think of it.
I have been surrounded by unconditional love as a child and even still... lots of love...... and I am so grateful.
I am down 50 pounds!!!! woot woot!! The big push is on now for another 15 pounds before summer vacation. 7 more weeks!
Cinco de mayo came and went-- I was gonna blog
The first day of spring came and went- I was gonna blog
This week is a big push for making a schedule and sticking to the schedule. Remember how I want to be a Domestic Diva right? :) My morning routine is a hot mess. At the beginning of the year I woke up at a certain time.. blogged.. showered and was out the door on time... So tomorrow morning starts my early morning routine again.
6 am alarm
6:05 drink my first big glass of water
6:10 coffee/prayer journaling/Bible reading
6:30 shower
7:00 leave for work- eating my first medifast bar in the car
Tomorrow I will drink tons of water.
Tomorrow I will exercise at lunch time with co workers.
Tomorrow I will practice gratitude.
Tomorrow I will do loads of laundry in the evening.
Tomorrow I will go directly to the kitchen after I walk in the door and cook.
Tomorrow I will make sure kitchen sink is shiny and clean before bed.
#forward #keepitmovin #practicegratitude
A day to celebrate life and love.
I definitely had an awesome weekend celebrating the special women in my life. I come from a long legacy of wonderful women. Mike comes from a long legacy of wonderful women.
Mothers are the most sacrificing people I know. They give of their entire selves for the sake of their children when they are young- It's actually quite a phenomenon when you think of it.
I have been surrounded by unconditional love as a child and even still... lots of love...... and I am so grateful.
I am down 50 pounds!!!! woot woot!! The big push is on now for another 15 pounds before summer vacation. 7 more weeks!
Cinco de mayo came and went-- I was gonna blog
The first day of spring came and went- I was gonna blog
This week is a big push for making a schedule and sticking to the schedule. Remember how I want to be a Domestic Diva right? :) My morning routine is a hot mess. At the beginning of the year I woke up at a certain time.. blogged.. showered and was out the door on time... So tomorrow morning starts my early morning routine again.
6 am alarm
6:05 drink my first big glass of water
6:10 coffee/prayer journaling/Bible reading
6:30 shower
7:00 leave for work- eating my first medifast bar in the car
Tomorrow I will drink tons of water.
Tomorrow I will exercise at lunch time with co workers.
Tomorrow I will practice gratitude.
Tomorrow I will do loads of laundry in the evening.
Tomorrow I will go directly to the kitchen after I walk in the door and cook.
Tomorrow I will make sure kitchen sink is shiny and clean before bed.
#forward #keepitmovin #practicegratitude
My Mom. Gma. Kenny (my #1 fan) and Noelle.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Day 115 #forward
Keep it Movin!!!
#forward
I am heading toward the end of month 4. I won't give up!!!!!
The past few weeks have been rough. Crazy emotions..... dwelling on negativity.... yo yo scale but I WON'T GIVE UP!!!
Some days I don't know where God is.. I know He doesn't leave us.. but hard times... roaring seas..dessert valleys.. it truly is hard to understand what He is doing.
Life is nothing that I hoped it would be by now.. I have a career of helping other moms be mom's and my womb remains empty.. Life is funny.. but I can't give up hope for a better future!! When we give up hope we truly have nothing!
My heart is sad.... there is an ache Inside that I don't know will ever go away until I become a mother. Most of you can't understand this ache and that is ok.. I'm not asking you to understand.. just know that I'm trying my best and I'm not giving up!!!!
I thought I would put up some before and now pics!! #forward!!!!
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Day 110!! Still going!
Day 110- Chillin with my Katie, painting our nails, drinking water and watching movies= great day!
My total is 49 pounds lost. This week is the big push to get past 50 pounds!
I'm doing well and staying strong for the most part. I have cheated a bit here and there but have stayed true to the program for the most part. This plan is truly easy and I'm so thankful that I don't have to think too much.
I have started a new venture again- Mary Kay! www.marykay.com/carencaren
I do love their products so it's time to start selling again!
All that to say, I am a busy gal! Losing weight.. lookin good.. lovin the Lord. woot woot!
My total is 49 pounds lost. This week is the big push to get past 50 pounds!
I'm doing well and staying strong for the most part. I have cheated a bit here and there but have stayed true to the program for the most part. This plan is truly easy and I'm so thankful that I don't have to think too much.
I have started a new venture again- Mary Kay! www.marykay.com/carencaren
I do love their products so it's time to start selling again!
All that to say, I am a busy gal! Losing weight.. lookin good.. lovin the Lord. woot woot!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Day 94!!!!
Wow... day 94... So exciting that I have made it this far!! Day 100 will be fun for some reason!
Meal 1- MF Smores bar
Meal 2- MF Choc pb bar
Meal 3- MF Smores bar
Meal 4- MF berry crunch cereal
Lean N Green- Salad, Grilled chicken, 2 tbs Caesar dressing
Water
Coffee with cream and splenda
Meal 5- MF choc chip cookie
It's official- I am the captain of our work weight loss team called "Thin it To Win It" :)
My role is to encourage and inspire the team to exercise and eat healthy. How funny that I am the captain???!!! It's really kinda funny when you think about it. Considering I still weigh over 300 pounds! Ha! I'm the captain of a health team! Love it!
This weekend is my birthday and I'm so excited to head into a new year of living knowing that I am taking care of my body! Feels great to not feel guilty.
I still have a long way to go but I am still on the road!!!!!!!!! which is a first!!!!!
I have never done a diet past 3 months.
I have never lost more than 30 pounds.
Time to push past all those- I never!!!
#Forward!!!!!!
Meal 1- MF Smores bar
Meal 2- MF Choc pb bar
Meal 3- MF Smores bar
Meal 4- MF berry crunch cereal
Lean N Green- Salad, Grilled chicken, 2 tbs Caesar dressing
Water
Coffee with cream and splenda
Meal 5- MF choc chip cookie
It's official- I am the captain of our work weight loss team called "Thin it To Win It" :)
My role is to encourage and inspire the team to exercise and eat healthy. How funny that I am the captain???!!! It's really kinda funny when you think about it. Considering I still weigh over 300 pounds! Ha! I'm the captain of a health team! Love it!
This weekend is my birthday and I'm so excited to head into a new year of living knowing that I am taking care of my body! Feels great to not feel guilty.
I still have a long way to go but I am still on the road!!!!!!!!! which is a first!!!!!
I have never done a diet past 3 months.
I have never lost more than 30 pounds.
Time to push past all those- I never!!!
#Forward!!!!!!
Monday, April 1, 2013
week 13 weigh in!
Down---- another 3.6 pounds! Woot Woot!
Total of 45.6 pounds!!! So flippin exciting!
Last week I was the exercise champ! I even took a hike/walk through the woods.
I am definitely proud of myself for the choices I have been making lately. I am moving FORWARD toward Health. FORWARD toward freedom. FORWARD toward summer!
Total of 45.6 pounds!!! So flippin exciting!
Last week I was the exercise champ! I even took a hike/walk through the woods.
I am definitely proud of myself for the choices I have been making lately. I am moving FORWARD toward Health. FORWARD toward freedom. FORWARD toward summer!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Weigh in Monday: week 12
Down 3.4 !!
Woot woot!!
Total of 42 pounds!! I can't wait to hit that 50 mark!!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Palm Sunday
Palm Sunday--- I have wonderful Palm Sunday memories growing up in the church. There was an excitement in the air. Spring was coming soon. New life was coming soon. Jesus was Praised! It was the start of a Holy week... a retrospective week.. an introspective week. I loved being raised as a Preachers Kid. My wonderful parents showed me the love of Jesus every day. Sure they weren't perfect but pretty darn close. During my rebellious teenage years there was a rift between my parents and I ... a rift between God and I...but looking back, I had a wonderful childhood.
This is probably why I have such a strong desire to have a family of my own. I know Mike and I will not be perfect parents.. we are a hot mess most of the time... but our kids will be loved and shown God's love that is for sure. Because my desire to have a family is so strong.. and because it's not happening... I have distanced myself from God. Just keepin it real folks. I am numb most of the time. Yes I am still able to love and be loved. Yes I still put on my big ol smile most of the time. Yes I can see the beauty in life even still. Yes I can honestly say life is good even though we are going through stuff. But when I think about God I feel numb...... desensitized... The Joy of the Lord will be my strength.. that's what the Bible says. Maybe that's why I feel weak because my joy in the Lord is dim. again folks.. just keepin it real....
For my close peeps- don't be alarmed... I am not depressed... I am still focusing on my health plan.. I still laugh every day... I am proud of myself for my weight loss and new exercise routine. When you ask me how I am, I am going to say great! Because I am doing great things health wise. Because we have a roof over our heads... water to drink... electricity... love from friends and family.. cars.. all things I am so thankful for. But my heart is very raw..... and I really don't like to talk about it. Kinda too painful. :) So for now we will continue to talk about my health journey instead. LOL!
This is probably why I have such a strong desire to have a family of my own. I know Mike and I will not be perfect parents.. we are a hot mess most of the time... but our kids will be loved and shown God's love that is for sure. Because my desire to have a family is so strong.. and because it's not happening... I have distanced myself from God. Just keepin it real folks. I am numb most of the time. Yes I am still able to love and be loved. Yes I still put on my big ol smile most of the time. Yes I can see the beauty in life even still. Yes I can honestly say life is good even though we are going through stuff. But when I think about God I feel numb...... desensitized... The Joy of the Lord will be my strength.. that's what the Bible says. Maybe that's why I feel weak because my joy in the Lord is dim. again folks.. just keepin it real....
For my close peeps- don't be alarmed... I am not depressed... I am still focusing on my health plan.. I still laugh every day... I am proud of myself for my weight loss and new exercise routine. When you ask me how I am, I am going to say great! Because I am doing great things health wise. Because we have a roof over our heads... water to drink... electricity... love from friends and family.. cars.. all things I am so thankful for. But my heart is very raw..... and I really don't like to talk about it. Kinda too painful. :) So for now we will continue to talk about my health journey instead. LOL!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Day 80- My boss rocks
Meal 1- MF Mint choc bar
Meal 2- MF PB crunch bar
coffee and cream/stevia
Meal3- MF Choc pudding
Lean N Green- Spinach, Turkey Taco meat, 2 TBS salsa, 1/4 cup cheese, 2 tbs soup cream
Meal 4- MF Choc Chip cookie and 1 TBS cool whip
I exercised today at lunch time! Heeeyy!!!
I brought my work out clothes and sneaks with me to work. The blinds were closed in my office, door was shut and I stripped! I changed in my office and headed down the hall to do a pilates, floor exercise DVD with my co worker.
My 60something year old boss is amazing. She is doing a half marathon this summer. She can do 'man pushups'. She parks sometimes on the third floor parking deck on purpose. She is my hero in many ways. She never apologizes. There is something to admire about that. Most women say 'I'm sorry" waaaayy too much. For every little thing. I'm sure if she tripped me on accident and I fell down a flight of stairs she would apologize. lol I'm not talking about that kind of stuff. I mean work wise. She is a very strong leader but not in a mean angry way.... she is a no nonsense person who has a hearty laugh and a great smile. Can you tell I look up to her? lol She is going to teach me how to do real push ups. LOL! I know I keep saying I want to dream big... but that seems impossible! ha!
I have started my countdown to vacation. 100 days left! My original goal was 50 pounds by vacation. I'm fairly certain I will reach that goal and then some... aaaahhH!! I can't wait to be smaller... move around free-er.... wear skirts and sandals and get tan.... sigh... aahh!!! Can you tell I can't wait!
Meal 2- MF PB crunch bar
coffee and cream/stevia
Meal3- MF Choc pudding
Lean N Green- Spinach, Turkey Taco meat, 2 TBS salsa, 1/4 cup cheese, 2 tbs soup cream
Meal 4- MF Choc Chip cookie and 1 TBS cool whip
I exercised today at lunch time! Heeeyy!!!
I brought my work out clothes and sneaks with me to work. The blinds were closed in my office, door was shut and I stripped! I changed in my office and headed down the hall to do a pilates, floor exercise DVD with my co worker.
My 60something year old boss is amazing. She is doing a half marathon this summer. She can do 'man pushups'. She parks sometimes on the third floor parking deck on purpose. She is my hero in many ways. She never apologizes. There is something to admire about that. Most women say 'I'm sorry" waaaayy too much. For every little thing. I'm sure if she tripped me on accident and I fell down a flight of stairs she would apologize. lol I'm not talking about that kind of stuff. I mean work wise. She is a very strong leader but not in a mean angry way.... she is a no nonsense person who has a hearty laugh and a great smile. Can you tell I look up to her? lol She is going to teach me how to do real push ups. LOL! I know I keep saying I want to dream big... but that seems impossible! ha!
I have started my countdown to vacation. 100 days left! My original goal was 50 pounds by vacation. I'm fairly certain I will reach that goal and then some... aaaahhH!! I can't wait to be smaller... move around free-er.... wear skirts and sandals and get tan.... sigh... aahh!!! Can you tell I can't wait!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Day 79
Meal 1- MF PB choc bar
Coffee with cream and splenda
Meal 2- MF Hot cocoa
snack- 2 oz nuts and diet coke
Meal 3- MF Choc chip cookie
Meal 4- MF Choc chip cookie
Lean - Salmon with 1 tsp olive oil
Meal 5- MF Choc pudding
Not nearly enough water
I'm just kinda blah so I really have nothing to say. :) Just wanted to keep with the food tracking accountability.
Peace out.
Coffee with cream and splenda
Meal 2- MF Hot cocoa
snack- 2 oz nuts and diet coke
Meal 3- MF Choc chip cookie
Meal 4- MF Choc chip cookie
Lean - Salmon with 1 tsp olive oil
Meal 5- MF Choc pudding
Not nearly enough water
I'm just kinda blah so I really have nothing to say. :) Just wanted to keep with the food tracking accountability.
Peace out.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Day 78- An Attitude of Gratitude
Meal 1- MF PB bar
Meal 2- MF PB bar
Coffee with Cream/Stevia
Meal 3- MF tomato soup
Meal 4- MF Vanilla Shake
Lean N Green- Salmon and Spinach, Italian dressing
Meal 5- MF Choc chip cookie
Water- not as much as yesterday
This road is tough.......... I'm trying to have an attitude of gratitude regardless of circumstances.
I have an awesome family and church family.
I have a hot sexy loving husband.
I have an adorable loving dog.
I have a roof over my head.. a car that works... water flowing freely from the faucet and food.
I have God.
I have a lot.
#forward
Meal 2- MF PB bar
Coffee with Cream/Stevia
Meal 3- MF tomato soup
Meal 4- MF Vanilla Shake
Lean N Green- Salmon and Spinach, Italian dressing
Meal 5- MF Choc chip cookie
Water- not as much as yesterday
This road is tough.......... I'm trying to have an attitude of gratitude regardless of circumstances.
I have an awesome family and church family.
I have a hot sexy loving husband.
I have an adorable loving dog.
I have a roof over my head.. a car that works... water flowing freely from the faucet and food.
I have God.
I have a lot.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Day 77- accountability
Meal 1- MF Mint Chip bar
Meal 2- MF Apple cinn Oatmeal
Coffee with cream and Stevia
Meal 3- MF Cappuccino
Meal 4- MF Hot Cocoa
Lean N Green- Spinach and grilled Chicken 2 Tbs Italian dressing
Meal 5- MF Brownie 1 Tbs FF Cool Whip
Meal 2- MF Apple cinn Oatmeal
Coffee with cream and Stevia
Meal 3- MF Cappuccino
Meal 4- MF Hot Cocoa
Lean N Green- Spinach and grilled Chicken 2 Tbs Italian dressing
Meal 5- MF Brownie 1 Tbs FF Cool Whip
84 OZ Water!! Woot Woot!
Straight and Narrow Baby! I am still at 39 pounds lost and THIS is the week to push into the 40's!
I'm doing it! I said the same thing last week but I truly am not messing around. #forward
I'm doing it! I said the same thing last week but I truly am not messing around. #forward
I downloaded the TSFL app on my phone today which is a very cool way to track everything during the day.
I also did the rubber band water bottle trick that someone on the TSFL support FB page shared. 5 rubber bands for 5 ,16.9 oz water. Every time you finish the bottle you move a rubber band to the top.
Not giving up!
Day 77
Weigh in Monday: lost .2 pounds. Lol! Ill take it!!
Last week weigh in: lost 4.2
I currently weigh what I did 3 weeks ago. It's not a set back! It's a , you deviated from plan here and there, time to get strict!
I'm still feeling good but my goal is to blog EVERY day this week and to incorporate exercise this week!!
#forward
Sunday, March 10, 2013
day 66- back in the saddle
meal 1-MF Lemon Merengue bar
meal 2- MF Chocolate pudding
meal 3- MF Cream of tomato soup
meal 4- MF Cappuccino
snack- light n fit greek yogurt
meal 5- MF choc chip cookie
Lean N Green- Salad with grilled chicken
Water galore and raspberry tea
Back in the game
Back on the wagon
Back in business
Back in town
Baby got Back
lol.. I just couldn't resist adding that last one.
I am back baby! Today is a new day and my head is not fuzzy today! yay!
The past 3 days were tremendously challenging as I was in trainings all day and they fed us lunch each day. Chips... cookies... sandwhiches.... yada yada. One day I did eat some chips and I did have 2 cookies... sigh.. Whatev- I'm over it. Today is a new day. I feel good
meal 2- MF Chocolate pudding
meal 3- MF Cream of tomato soup
meal 4- MF Cappuccino
snack- light n fit greek yogurt
meal 5- MF choc chip cookie
Lean N Green- Salad with grilled chicken
Water galore and raspberry tea
Back in the game
Back on the wagon
Back in business
Back in town
Baby got Back
lol.. I just couldn't resist adding that last one.
I am back baby! Today is a new day and my head is not fuzzy today! yay!
The past 3 days were tremendously challenging as I was in trainings all day and they fed us lunch each day. Chips... cookies... sandwhiches.... yada yada. One day I did eat some chips and I did have 2 cookies... sigh.. Whatev- I'm over it. Today is a new day. I feel good
day 69- Am I truly a new woman?
Sunday Morning... Birds chirping... windows open ajar... the little things in life.... aaaahhhhh
Back in Business mode is still in affect. Woot Woot!
This past week I was able to get a pedicure.. hair cut and colored... new clothes... I'm a new woman! Or am I?
During my single years when I had money to burn apparently, lol ; pedicures... primping... new clothes were the regular. In hindsight I should have done a little less of that and a little more of paying off student loans but hindsight is always 20/20. Now the full spectrum of primping only happens about once a year.. tax return time. ha! I'm a girlie girl through and through. I gotta say there is nothing better than having your legs/feet massaged, cleaned and scrubbed. Well.. there are a few things better but that sure ranks up there on the list.
So I have focused a ton this week on the 'outer shell'. How does it affect my inner person?
Well.. it sure does make me happy. :) Clearly I know that these things are temporal but it is always a hard balance for me and a fine line to walk. I tend to focus too much on the outward. I love beauty. I know that the Lord gives us that desire to look on beautiful things because we are made in His image. I also know that the Lord says in 1 Samuel... Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart. God cares more about my heart that my new pedicure. God cares more about my heart than my fabulous new hair color. He cares MORE about the heart but He does care about me in general and my overall self. Queen Esther in the bible was primped and oiled up but weeks on end I do believe. I'm sure she was given pedicures... massages and the like. As I get ready for church this morning I MUST focus on my heart MORE than I focus on putting on my new digs and making sure my hair looks perfect.
The past two days I have followed plan to a T. The scale says I am down again so we shall see tomorrow on Official Monday Weigh In.
I am not giving up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #Forward
Back in Business mode is still in affect. Woot Woot!
This past week I was able to get a pedicure.. hair cut and colored... new clothes... I'm a new woman! Or am I?
During my single years when I had money to burn apparently, lol ; pedicures... primping... new clothes were the regular. In hindsight I should have done a little less of that and a little more of paying off student loans but hindsight is always 20/20. Now the full spectrum of primping only happens about once a year.. tax return time. ha! I'm a girlie girl through and through. I gotta say there is nothing better than having your legs/feet massaged, cleaned and scrubbed. Well.. there are a few things better but that sure ranks up there on the list.
So I have focused a ton this week on the 'outer shell'. How does it affect my inner person?
Well.. it sure does make me happy. :) Clearly I know that these things are temporal but it is always a hard balance for me and a fine line to walk. I tend to focus too much on the outward. I love beauty. I know that the Lord gives us that desire to look on beautiful things because we are made in His image. I also know that the Lord says in 1 Samuel... Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart. God cares more about my heart that my new pedicure. God cares more about my heart than my fabulous new hair color. He cares MORE about the heart but He does care about me in general and my overall self. Queen Esther in the bible was primped and oiled up but weeks on end I do believe. I'm sure she was given pedicures... massages and the like. As I get ready for church this morning I MUST focus on my heart MORE than I focus on putting on my new digs and making sure my hair looks perfect.
The past two days I have followed plan to a T. The scale says I am down again so we shall see tomorrow on Official Monday Weigh In.
I am not giving up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #Forward
Monday, March 4, 2013
weight gain
Day 63- week 9 weigh in- +4.8
yikes
This number will not define me. I can list lots of reasons for this weight gain but I won't. I'm not dwelling on this too much or my head will start doing crazy things.
Reality- I ate off plan, Virginia is in town and the week prior I lost 7.8.
Reality- I will not give up. Sure, I am frustrated. Sure, I have been feeling down about it. But my pitty party stops here. Time to steer that wagon into victory!
I chose a salad today at my work luncheon instead of a sandwhich, chips and cookie.
I drank lots of water today.
and I MUST keep moving forward!!! Turning back is not an option.
Here's to brighter days ahead!!!!!
yikes
This number will not define me. I can list lots of reasons for this weight gain but I won't. I'm not dwelling on this too much or my head will start doing crazy things.
Reality- I ate off plan, Virginia is in town and the week prior I lost 7.8.
Reality- I will not give up. Sure, I am frustrated. Sure, I have been feeling down about it. But my pitty party stops here. Time to steer that wagon into victory!
I chose a salad today at my work luncheon instead of a sandwhich, chips and cookie.
I drank lots of water today.
and I MUST keep moving forward!!! Turning back is not an option.
Here's to brighter days ahead!!!!!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
"real food" and cravings galore!
Day 62-
Meal 1- MF Mocha Shake
Meal 2- MF Caramel Crunch bar
Meal 3- MF Choc chip pancake, 1 tbs sugar free syrup, 2 eggs, 1/8th cup cheese, smidge milk
Meal 4- MF Choc chip cookie, 1 tb cool whip
Meal 5- MF banana pudding
Raspberry hot tea and more water!
The past 3 days have been rough. I wake up craving 'real' food. I find myself 'tired' of the same ol same ol medifast stuff. I have eaten pizza. The scale says I have gained a few pounds back. Virginia is here and she is being such a 'B'. I am discouraged to say the least. I keep putting on a brave face but I am really struggling. I have a Health Coach who is a dear friend and I know I should be reaching out to her but my pride is getting in the way. I will reach out to her tonight....
I keep worrying about what everyone is thinking... annoying! I annoy myself. Ha!
Tomorrow is 'official' weigh in day and I am pretty sure the scale is going to say I gained a few. It is what it is and I promise to be honest and write down exactly what it says even if it is a plus.
Here is the reality-
I want to wear cool clothes more than I want 'real food'.
I want to fit in an airplane seat more than I want 'real food'.
I want to fit in a booth at restaurants more than I want 'real food'.
I want to be healthy and have normal blood pressure more than I want 'real food'.
I want to be able to get pregnant more than I want 'real food'.
I want to be 'pain free' more than I want 'real food'.
I want to sit in any seat I want without fear of it breaking more than I want 'real food'.
I MUST push on.... no matter what the scale says tomorrow.
#FORWARD!!!!!!!
Meal 1- MF Mocha Shake
Meal 2- MF Caramel Crunch bar
Meal 3- MF Choc chip pancake, 1 tbs sugar free syrup, 2 eggs, 1/8th cup cheese, smidge milk
Meal 4- MF Choc chip cookie, 1 tb cool whip
Meal 5- MF banana pudding
Raspberry hot tea and more water!
The past 3 days have been rough. I wake up craving 'real' food. I find myself 'tired' of the same ol same ol medifast stuff. I have eaten pizza. The scale says I have gained a few pounds back. Virginia is here and she is being such a 'B'. I am discouraged to say the least. I keep putting on a brave face but I am really struggling. I have a Health Coach who is a dear friend and I know I should be reaching out to her but my pride is getting in the way. I will reach out to her tonight....
I keep worrying about what everyone is thinking... annoying! I annoy myself. Ha!
Tomorrow is 'official' weigh in day and I am pretty sure the scale is going to say I gained a few. It is what it is and I promise to be honest and write down exactly what it says even if it is a plus.
Here is the reality-
I want to wear cool clothes more than I want 'real food'.
I want to fit in an airplane seat more than I want 'real food'.
I want to fit in a booth at restaurants more than I want 'real food'.
I want to be healthy and have normal blood pressure more than I want 'real food'.
I want to be able to get pregnant more than I want 'real food'.
I want to be 'pain free' more than I want 'real food'.
I want to sit in any seat I want without fear of it breaking more than I want 'real food'.
I MUST push on.... no matter what the scale says tomorrow.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Day 59
Woo Hoo- Tomorrow is March!!!!!!! I saw daffodils breaking through the ground on my walk with Chewie. sigh... I instantly felt warmer.
Meal 1- choc shake
Meal 2- choc mint bar
Meal 3- Cappuccino
Meal 4- choc mint bar
Meal 5- choc pudding
Meal 6- Plain Greek Yogurt, smidge rasp extract, packet stevia (6 carbs, 80 calories, 0 fat)
Isnt' it so cool that delicate flowers can bust through the hard cold ground every spring?
Meal 1- choc shake
Meal 2- choc mint bar
Meal 3- Cappuccino
Meal 4- choc mint bar
Meal 5- choc pudding
Meal 6- Plain Greek Yogurt, smidge rasp extract, packet stevia (6 carbs, 80 calories, 0 fat)
Isnt' it so cool that delicate flowers can bust through the hard cold ground every spring?
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Warning- some complaining and Michael Scott
meal 1- Choc shake
Meal 2- PB choc bar
Meal 3- 2 eggs, 1/4 c. cheese, 2 slice bacon (not officially on plan)
Meal 4- PB bar
Meal 5- 4 small meatballs, 1cup tomato sauce, 1/3 cup ricotta cheese
Meal 6- Choc chip cookie
lite latte from DD
I ate too much lean I do believe. Also bacon is not on plan. As of right now I can't be too crazy about measuring every single thing. So I'm making the best choices I can and if it gets to a point where I am not losing anything then I will measure everything perfectly.
I miss Michael Scott. The Office is on in the background as I type.. reruns of old shows from past seasons. yup.. I miss Michael Scott.
I got nothing else. Well maybe I should dive a little deeper.
ok here's the reality- I've been kinda funky. Due to my hormonal disorder (PCOS) my body does very strange things. It is VERY unpredictable. I never know when Virginia is going to show up. Even when the dr. give me hormones to take to 'normalize' my cycles, Virginia still shows up whenever the heck she wants to. It just messes with my head. waa waa waa I am whining I know.
The hubs may have back surgery soon........... may.............. as we found out today that the current dr that he was going to have the surgery through now doesn't take our insurance. Sigh...it is so confusing and 100% out of my control. aaaaaaarrrrrgggg!!!!!!!! ok... I'm moving on.. I can't dwell on this negativity too long.
I'm moving forward!!! I should be able to get to the 50 pounds lost mark during the month of March. woot woot! My initial goal was 50 pounds by July 1st but I'm pretty sure I am going to have to set a new goal soon! woo hoo!!
Meal 2- PB choc bar
Meal 3- 2 eggs, 1/4 c. cheese, 2 slice bacon (not officially on plan)
Meal 4- PB bar
Meal 5- 4 small meatballs, 1cup tomato sauce, 1/3 cup ricotta cheese
Meal 6- Choc chip cookie
lite latte from DD
I ate too much lean I do believe. Also bacon is not on plan. As of right now I can't be too crazy about measuring every single thing. So I'm making the best choices I can and if it gets to a point where I am not losing anything then I will measure everything perfectly.
I miss Michael Scott. The Office is on in the background as I type.. reruns of old shows from past seasons. yup.. I miss Michael Scott.
I got nothing else. Well maybe I should dive a little deeper.
ok here's the reality- I've been kinda funky. Due to my hormonal disorder (PCOS) my body does very strange things. It is VERY unpredictable. I never know when Virginia is going to show up. Even when the dr. give me hormones to take to 'normalize' my cycles, Virginia still shows up whenever the heck she wants to. It just messes with my head. waa waa waa I am whining I know.
The hubs may have back surgery soon........... may.............. as we found out today that the current dr that he was going to have the surgery through now doesn't take our insurance. Sigh...it is so confusing and 100% out of my control. aaaaaaarrrrrgggg!!!!!!!! ok... I'm moving on.. I can't dwell on this negativity too long.
I'm moving forward!!! I should be able to get to the 50 pounds lost mark during the month of March. woot woot! My initial goal was 50 pounds by July 1st but I'm pretty sure I am going to have to set a new goal soon! woo hoo!!
I love my dog and I miss Michael Scott. That's all for now.
uuumm 7.8 pounds in one week?
hi. my name is caren. I'm a food addict and I lost 7.8 pounds this week.
Whaaaaarrrtt???
I'll take it!
I didn't do anything different..... the human body is such a mystery.
That's all.
Toodles.
oh yeah... that's 39 pounds total in 8 weeks. crazy
Whaaaaarrrtt???
I'll take it!
I didn't do anything different..... the human body is such a mystery.
That's all.
Toodles.
oh yeah... that's 39 pounds total in 8 weeks. crazy
Monday, February 25, 2013
day 55- 310 days left!
Sunday- Feb 24th 2013
Meal 1- MF choco chip pancakes 1 tbs sugar free syrup, 2 eggs, 1/2 slice cheese
Meal 2- MF mint choc bar
Meal 3- MF mint choc bar
Meal 4- MF hot cocoa
Meal 5- MFChoc chip cookie smidge milk
Meal 6- 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 2 oz nuts
water...but not enough
As I was shopping at Khols yesterday picking out towels, I met an amazing older lady from Ukraine. I like to talk to strangers. It's fun. So I was going back and forth back and forth back and forth between aisles trying to compare the towels.. the colors.. the prices... and I say to the lady.. Too Many Choices! and our 10 minute friendship began!
She tells me she was raised under Communism where they had no choices at all what so ever. She was so sweet. She told me she would stand in line for 2 hours to get one towel that they would give her. No choices. She said she would stand in another line for 2 hours to get a bra... a random sized bra... and she would have to cut it and sew it to fit her size.... She said there was no interior decorating.. no color choices of walls... no picking the right textured tiles... nada..
When she first came here about 7 years ago she just couldn't believe the choices. She was shocked when her daughter in law wanted her towels to match for the wedding registry. She started laughing at one point and I knew what she was about to say. " But now I match my towels too! and we both said at the same time, "because I/you can!" I wanted to give her a big squeeze. What her eyes must have seen in her lifetime.... what her body had to endure...
So often in America we are so myopic.. 3/4 of the world's population lives in complete poverty. They live under thin tin roof's made of scraps.... mud huts... no sewage systems.... no running water.. no choices. This is not meant for us to feel guilty... but for us to truly live a life of gratitude for what we do have and to live a life of simplicity just cuz really? do we really need all that 'stuff'? The never satiated human soul... always wanting more.. More food. More stuff. More satisfaction. More pleasure. It never ends. O Lord... may you satisfy my soul forever.
Next time you are in the towel aisle or yogurt aisle or vegetable aisle you never know who are you going to meet.
Meal 1- MF choco chip pancakes 1 tbs sugar free syrup, 2 eggs, 1/2 slice cheese
Meal 2- MF mint choc bar
Meal 3- MF mint choc bar
Meal 4- MF hot cocoa
Meal 5- MFChoc chip cookie smidge milk
Meal 6- 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 2 oz nuts
water...but not enough
As I was shopping at Khols yesterday picking out towels, I met an amazing older lady from Ukraine. I like to talk to strangers. It's fun. So I was going back and forth back and forth back and forth between aisles trying to compare the towels.. the colors.. the prices... and I say to the lady.. Too Many Choices! and our 10 minute friendship began!
She tells me she was raised under Communism where they had no choices at all what so ever. She was so sweet. She told me she would stand in line for 2 hours to get one towel that they would give her. No choices. She said she would stand in another line for 2 hours to get a bra... a random sized bra... and she would have to cut it and sew it to fit her size.... She said there was no interior decorating.. no color choices of walls... no picking the right textured tiles... nada..
When she first came here about 7 years ago she just couldn't believe the choices. She was shocked when her daughter in law wanted her towels to match for the wedding registry. She started laughing at one point and I knew what she was about to say. " But now I match my towels too! and we both said at the same time, "because I/you can!" I wanted to give her a big squeeze. What her eyes must have seen in her lifetime.... what her body had to endure...
So often in America we are so myopic.. 3/4 of the world's population lives in complete poverty. They live under thin tin roof's made of scraps.... mud huts... no sewage systems.... no running water.. no choices. This is not meant for us to feel guilty... but for us to truly live a life of gratitude for what we do have and to live a life of simplicity just cuz really? do we really need all that 'stuff'? The never satiated human soul... always wanting more.. More food. More stuff. More satisfaction. More pleasure. It never ends. O Lord... may you satisfy my soul forever.
Next time you are in the towel aisle or yogurt aisle or vegetable aisle you never know who are you going to meet.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Day 54- Laundry and TGIF salad
Day 54
Domestic Diva- Things to Do Today
Load of Laundry
Organize bathroom closet and vanity drawers/ put in drawer liners
Organize Desk Area
Ok==== I am off to the races! If I don't get going now, I never will!
To be continued..............................
Domestic Diva- What I actually did Today
4 loads of Laundry- clean, folded put away
Organized most of bathroom closet, still confused as to how to organize the vanity drawers.
Didn't even touch the Desk Area
Painted my nails
Had dinner with my Uncle Bob and Mike
and lots of other little stuff.
Good Day, even though I'm still battling strep throat.
Meal 1- MF cappuccino
snack- DD lite latte, sugar free caramel syrup- small
Meal 2- Choco Mint bar
Meal 3- Chick noodle soup
Meal 4- part lean/Chobani PLAIN greek yogurt, 1 stevia packet, smidge raspberry extract
Meal 5- part lean/ .5 cup cottage chese
Meal 6- Salad at TGIF, and diet coke (man was it tough ordering just a salad...all that cheesy, meaty, mash potato-y stuff looked amazing!) but I opted for the house salad- blue cheese dressing- which was very tasty and I left not feeling stuffed and bloated and bad about myself. I left head high!
I have only had 3 MF 'meals', and I know they say to have all 5 no matter what... but today it's just not going to happen.
Strep Throat- Gross stuff! I got antibiotics for it on Thursday and for about two days I could barely talk/swallow. Sort of made for tough sleeping as I kinda couldn't breathe cuz my throat was so swollen.. but obvi I am alive and almost completely on the mend now. :)
wow... I only got a salad at TGIF.
PAST-would have gotten- Sizzling chicken&chesse 1030 calories, 78 fat g, 41 carbs, 2050 sodium!
TODAY- got- Wedge salad 620 calories, 50 fat g, 12 carbs, 1020 sodium. Eeek- ok maybe this wasn't such a great choice. 50 grams of fat???!!! how did that happen? 620 calories?? -not so great
The only thing that was decent was the carb count.... eeek. I need to ask my health coach about this.
Well, I ate half the amount of calories, sodium, 1/4 the amount of carbs than I normally would have gotten, so overall not too shabby.
Monday is another weigh in... week 8 already!! Bring it on!
The end of February is upon us which means Spring is COMING!!
Domestic Diva- Things to Do Today
Load of Laundry
Organize bathroom closet and vanity drawers/ put in drawer liners
Organize Desk Area
Ok==== I am off to the races! If I don't get going now, I never will!
To be continued..............................
Domestic Diva- What I actually did Today
4 loads of Laundry- clean, folded put away
Organized most of bathroom closet, still confused as to how to organize the vanity drawers.
Didn't even touch the Desk Area
Painted my nails
Had dinner with my Uncle Bob and Mike
and lots of other little stuff.
Good Day, even though I'm still battling strep throat.
Meal 1- MF cappuccino
snack- DD lite latte, sugar free caramel syrup- small
Meal 2- Choco Mint bar
Meal 3- Chick noodle soup
Meal 4- part lean/Chobani PLAIN greek yogurt, 1 stevia packet, smidge raspberry extract
Meal 5- part lean/ .5 cup cottage chese
Meal 6- Salad at TGIF, and diet coke (man was it tough ordering just a salad...all that cheesy, meaty, mash potato-y stuff looked amazing!) but I opted for the house salad- blue cheese dressing- which was very tasty and I left not feeling stuffed and bloated and bad about myself. I left head high!
I have only had 3 MF 'meals', and I know they say to have all 5 no matter what... but today it's just not going to happen.
Strep Throat- Gross stuff! I got antibiotics for it on Thursday and for about two days I could barely talk/swallow. Sort of made for tough sleeping as I kinda couldn't breathe cuz my throat was so swollen.. but obvi I am alive and almost completely on the mend now. :)
wow... I only got a salad at TGIF.
PAST-would have gotten- Sizzling chicken&chesse 1030 calories, 78 fat g, 41 carbs, 2050 sodium!
TODAY- got- Wedge salad 620 calories, 50 fat g, 12 carbs, 1020 sodium. Eeek- ok maybe this wasn't such a great choice. 50 grams of fat???!!! how did that happen? 620 calories?? -not so great
The only thing that was decent was the carb count.... eeek. I need to ask my health coach about this.
Well, I ate half the amount of calories, sodium, 1/4 the amount of carbs than I normally would have gotten, so overall not too shabby.
Monday is another weigh in... week 8 already!! Bring it on!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Day 51 Fear and Love
Meal 1- PB choc bar
snack- Lite Latte with splenda from DD
Meal 2- Choc Mint bar
Meal 3- Chicken noodle soup
Meal 4- Lean- Meatloaf (no veggies) tomorrow.must.eat.veggies.
Meal 5- Choc pudding with 1 tbs pb2 and 1 tbs FF coolwhip
water water water and raspberry hot tea
FEAR= Fear and Love cannot coexist- the Bible says so. 1 John 4:18. If you are so bound up in your fears, you are not fully free to love others, to accept love from others. If you are so bound up in your fears than you are not fully free to love God and accept God's love in return.
My first memories of fear-
Where- Cape Cod summer vacation, on the beach
Age- elementary school age
Who involved- me, my mom, my bro
Why- we were walking on a rock jedi sticking out into the ocean. I was crazy afraid I was going to fall. I remember feeling paralyzed- and I gave up. I vividly remember my mom and little brother way ahead of me and I got down on my bottom and slid off the rocks into the sand because I just was too scared to go any further.
I have ALWAYS had fears of falling. In elementary school I would fall almost every lunch period. So many of my pants were thread bear at the knees from falling so much. I would have to go to the nurse every time for her to clean off my knees and apply a new band aid. I have tons of knee scars to prove it.
Some people are born with a build for athletics. They are naturally strong and athletic and you can see this at a very young age. This is not me. GYM class was my ABSOLUTE worst hour of the day. I have horrible memories of elementary school gym class. Painful memories. I was THE LAST kid to get picked for any sports.. My parents forced me to be on a softball team and I NEVER made it to first base- for TWO SEASONS! I struck out EVERY single time. I would Pray that the ball wouldn't fly to me while I was in the outfield because I know I couldn't run fast enough to pick it up. I received the award for the being a good sport. aka. for still smiling even though you suck. ha!
But let me tell you- This Big Girl can dance! I may not be talented in any sport area but I have got rhythm for days! Give me a beat and I just can't help myself.
I write all of this to say........ Fear has controlled me most of my days. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear that my dreams won't come true. Fear of falling. Fear of really anything physical, besides dancing and sex. Ha!
I need to push myself out of my comfort zone! I also need to remember the times when I did push myself out of my comfort zone. Mission trips to Mexico.. Kenya.. Zambia... Traveling around the country for a year with a school assembly Corp. (Camfel Productions) Going to a college I had never visited before. and starting TSFL! My bestie wants to do a Mud Run in June. www.godirtygirl.com and I am scared out of my mind!! I am pretty sure I am going to sign up and just do the best I can do. but OMG... crawling in the mud???!!! this girlie girl is screaming- Heck No!
I know I can't live in FEAR. I want to be free to worship and love God with my whole heart and not be chained to fears from the past or fears of the future. I want to love my husband, family and friends with a purer love that comes from me being FREE!
#forward
snack- Lite Latte with splenda from DD
Meal 2- Choc Mint bar
Meal 3- Chicken noodle soup
Meal 4- Lean- Meatloaf (no veggies) tomorrow.must.eat.veggies.
Meal 5- Choc pudding with 1 tbs pb2 and 1 tbs FF coolwhip
water water water and raspberry hot tea
FEAR= Fear and Love cannot coexist- the Bible says so. 1 John 4:18. If you are so bound up in your fears, you are not fully free to love others, to accept love from others. If you are so bound up in your fears than you are not fully free to love God and accept God's love in return.
My first memories of fear-
Where- Cape Cod summer vacation, on the beach
Age- elementary school age
Who involved- me, my mom, my bro
Why- we were walking on a rock jedi sticking out into the ocean. I was crazy afraid I was going to fall. I remember feeling paralyzed- and I gave up. I vividly remember my mom and little brother way ahead of me and I got down on my bottom and slid off the rocks into the sand because I just was too scared to go any further.
I have ALWAYS had fears of falling. In elementary school I would fall almost every lunch period. So many of my pants were thread bear at the knees from falling so much. I would have to go to the nurse every time for her to clean off my knees and apply a new band aid. I have tons of knee scars to prove it.
Some people are born with a build for athletics. They are naturally strong and athletic and you can see this at a very young age. This is not me. GYM class was my ABSOLUTE worst hour of the day. I have horrible memories of elementary school gym class. Painful memories. I was THE LAST kid to get picked for any sports.. My parents forced me to be on a softball team and I NEVER made it to first base- for TWO SEASONS! I struck out EVERY single time. I would Pray that the ball wouldn't fly to me while I was in the outfield because I know I couldn't run fast enough to pick it up. I received the award for the being a good sport. aka. for still smiling even though you suck. ha!
But let me tell you- This Big Girl can dance! I may not be talented in any sport area but I have got rhythm for days! Give me a beat and I just can't help myself.
I write all of this to say........ Fear has controlled me most of my days. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear that my dreams won't come true. Fear of falling. Fear of really anything physical, besides dancing and sex. Ha!
I need to push myself out of my comfort zone! I also need to remember the times when I did push myself out of my comfort zone. Mission trips to Mexico.. Kenya.. Zambia... Traveling around the country for a year with a school assembly Corp. (Camfel Productions) Going to a college I had never visited before. and starting TSFL! My bestie wants to do a Mud Run in June. www.godirtygirl.com and I am scared out of my mind!! I am pretty sure I am going to sign up and just do the best I can do. but OMG... crawling in the mud???!!! this girlie girl is screaming- Heck No!
I know I can't live in FEAR. I want to be free to worship and love God with my whole heart and not be chained to fears from the past or fears of the future. I want to love my husband, family and friends with a purer love that comes from me being FREE!
#forward
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
day 49- and week 7 weigh in!
February 18th 2013.
Week 7 weigh in- down another 4 pounds! 31.2 pounds total in 7 weeks woot woot!
Meal 1- Vanilla Shake
Meal 2- MF Oatmeal
Snack- 1 oz nuts
Meal 3- PB bar
Meal 4- Choco Mint bar
Meal 5- Lean N Green Salad and Salmon 1 tbs light Caesar dressing
Meal 6- Chocolate pudding with 1 tbs PB2 and 1 tbs FF coowhip
water water water and raspberry hot tea
I can't believe my wedding rings can finally come off! I can finally clean them and shine them up nice!
My stomach is truly smaller. I don't feel I have to wear huge layers so as to try to mask the belly.
I can walk easier.
and I bought smaller underwear! Ha! I really want to avoid buying new clothing until the spring. So I'm going to rock my bigger sized winter clothing for now. But new smaller undies was fun to buy!
I can't wait to fit into my capri's that I haven't fit in to for a few years now! aaahh!! I can't wait to buy a good fitting pair of jeans! I can't wait to be at the beach and not feel so gross! I can't wait to fly on an airplane again and not be nervous that the seatbelt won't reach! I can't wait til I am not nervous to sit in a chair for fear it will break!
#forward
Week 7 weigh in- down another 4 pounds! 31.2 pounds total in 7 weeks woot woot!
Meal 1- Vanilla Shake
Meal 2- MF Oatmeal
Snack- 1 oz nuts
Meal 3- PB bar
Meal 4- Choco Mint bar
Meal 5- Lean N Green Salad and Salmon 1 tbs light Caesar dressing
Meal 6- Chocolate pudding with 1 tbs PB2 and 1 tbs FF coowhip
water water water and raspberry hot tea
I can't believe my wedding rings can finally come off! I can finally clean them and shine them up nice!
My stomach is truly smaller. I don't feel I have to wear huge layers so as to try to mask the belly.
I can walk easier.
and I bought smaller underwear! Ha! I really want to avoid buying new clothing until the spring. So I'm going to rock my bigger sized winter clothing for now. But new smaller undies was fun to buy!
I can't wait to fit into my capri's that I haven't fit in to for a few years now! aaahh!! I can't wait to buy a good fitting pair of jeans! I can't wait to be at the beach and not feel so gross! I can't wait to fly on an airplane again and not be nervous that the seatbelt won't reach! I can't wait til I am not nervous to sit in a chair for fear it will break!
This is me at a friends baby shower before I started TSFL. Wow, I have changed so much already.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Day 48- Hannah prays.. God hears her cries
Meal 1- MF choc chip pancake, sf syrup
snack- 2 oz nuts
Meal 2- Greek Salad, 1 tbs Caesar dressing, 6 oz grilled chicken
Meal 3- MF banana shake 1 tbs FF coolwhip
Meal 4- MF Chocolate shake with 1 TBS PB2
Water and Raspberry Hot Tea
Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... for my Medifast Shipment of new food! :)
I still have tons of Shakes and Soups. :) But I am missing the chocolate chip cookies and brownies.
I pretty much ordered Bars, Choc cookies and Brownies! I have enough shakes and soups to even it all out. What a diet!
After church we went out to lunch with another couple and their kids. 3 hours later we were full of food and full of friendship. Literally the 3 hours flew by which is why I know I like them a lot. :) Their children are edible. :) Beautiful blessings. Last year, their 4 year old girl, asked me if I was a mommy. I said no, but that I hope one day God blesses us with a child. She thought about it for a few seconds and said, "you know God can make something out of nothing!" I instantly teared up and those encouraging words have been with me ever since. This little girl loves God. I taught Sunday School today and she was in the class. Her enthusiasm for learning about God is contagious. When I would ask her questions about the bible story she would jump up and down enthusiastically shouting the answers. Jenny- you are a good mama and your man is a good papa.
The curriculum for Sunday school is prepared weeks ahead of time. and guess what the Bible lesson was about today? Hannah, from the book of 1 Samuel. Hannah was barren... the Bible says that God had closed her womb. She was emotionally tortured by Pinninah who had loads of kids and she was sad.. downcast.. she cried out to the Lord and He heard her cry and gave her a son. and of course this would be the week that I was to teach, right? coincidence? I don't think so. I know the Lord wants me to face my pain instead of burying it.. or dwelling on it so as to become bitter.
10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.”
15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”
17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”
18 She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,[b] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”
God is good and He CAN make something out of nothing. #forward
snack- 2 oz nuts
Meal 2- Greek Salad, 1 tbs Caesar dressing, 6 oz grilled chicken
Meal 3- MF banana shake 1 tbs FF coolwhip
Meal 4- MF Chocolate shake with 1 TBS PB2
Water and Raspberry Hot Tea
Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... for my Medifast Shipment of new food! :)
I still have tons of Shakes and Soups. :) But I am missing the chocolate chip cookies and brownies.
I pretty much ordered Bars, Choc cookies and Brownies! I have enough shakes and soups to even it all out. What a diet!
After church we went out to lunch with another couple and their kids. 3 hours later we were full of food and full of friendship. Literally the 3 hours flew by which is why I know I like them a lot. :) Their children are edible. :) Beautiful blessings. Last year, their 4 year old girl, asked me if I was a mommy. I said no, but that I hope one day God blesses us with a child. She thought about it for a few seconds and said, "you know God can make something out of nothing!" I instantly teared up and those encouraging words have been with me ever since. This little girl loves God. I taught Sunday School today and she was in the class. Her enthusiasm for learning about God is contagious. When I would ask her questions about the bible story she would jump up and down enthusiastically shouting the answers. Jenny- you are a good mama and your man is a good papa.
The curriculum for Sunday school is prepared weeks ahead of time. and guess what the Bible lesson was about today? Hannah, from the book of 1 Samuel. Hannah was barren... the Bible says that God had closed her womb. She was emotionally tortured by Pinninah who had loads of kids and she was sad.. downcast.. she cried out to the Lord and He heard her cry and gave her a son. and of course this would be the week that I was to teach, right? coincidence? I don't think so. I know the Lord wants me to face my pain instead of burying it.. or dwelling on it so as to become bitter.
10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.”
12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.”
15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”
17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him.”
18 She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.
19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,[b] saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”
God is good and He CAN make something out of nothing. #forward
Saturday, February 16, 2013
day 47- Chocolate Cookies and Milk
I knew that the dark days would come..... I also knew that I would not only write about my victories but also my stuggles... and today, I struggled---
Loneliness- when I was single, a married friend told me- even when you are married you will still have moments of loneliness. Today was one of those days. The hubs was away most of the day with a men's function from church. I was alone in the house for many hours and my mind started playing tricks on me. I worked myself up into such a tizzy including crazy negative thoughts about my body.. about not being a mom... about how far I have to go..... a few hours into the negativity I chose to eat 4 cookies and a small glass of milk. My first real Off the Plan moment.
The only Medifast foods I have left are shakes and soups......... so today was an off day in general.
I am choosing to be honest and transparent. Even though I am scared of disappointing my friends and family , I am choosing to be honest about it all.
Meal 1- MF Chocolate shake
Meal 2- MF cappuccino
Meal 3- 4 oz nuts
Meal 5- 1/4 cup Cottage cheese
Meal 6- 3 oz salmon with a tad olive oil
off plan- 4 choc cookies and 8 oz milk
off plan- movie theater popcorn and diet coke
off plan- when I returned from movie- 4 more cookies and 8 oz milk
EEEKK- At this point I am more 'worried' about disappointing friends and family than worrying about disappointing myself and the Lord. (I know God loves me regardless that's not what I'm saying)
This is an issue... I should be more concerned about not reaching my goals than worrying about what my peeps are going to think.
These off plan choices are not going to stop me from my goals.
Tomorrow is going to be another challenging day because I don't have good medifast choices. I was hoping my new shipment of food would come today but I guess it will arrive on Monday.
So, tomorrow Shakes and Soups and Salmon it is!
I made bad choices today in moments of weakness.. I let my guard down by dwelling on negativity. My negative thoughts lead to negative emotions.... my negative emotions left me weak to then make negative choices.
This reminds me of the Bible verse in Proverbs that talks about us dwelling on things that are TRUE and LOVELY. The Bible is truly the source of all wisdom.
Tomorrow is a new day... I know that I need to learn so many more lessons as to why I continue to turn to food to try to comfort me and my 'issues'. I know I need wisdom from the Bible and from the Holy Spirit. and I know God loves me so much that He wants me to walk in the Freedom that is already mine! and yet I turned to temporal chocolate chip pleasure and salty cardboard popcorn at the movies.....
I don't look on myself with eyes of self-loathing as I am soon to lay my head down to sleep. That self-loathing will only lead to more negative emotions leading to negative choices.
So I look on myself tonight with eyes of forgiveness. Today was a day... but tomorrow is a new day!
Goals- 50 pounds by end of June.
Positive choices I did make today- Salmon.... cottage cheese.... and nuts
Choices to make tomorrow- More water... 5 Medifast 'meals' and salmon/ veggies.
I will NOT BE STOPPED! My dreams are worth more than temporal pleasures!!!!!
Loneliness- when I was single, a married friend told me- even when you are married you will still have moments of loneliness. Today was one of those days. The hubs was away most of the day with a men's function from church. I was alone in the house for many hours and my mind started playing tricks on me. I worked myself up into such a tizzy including crazy negative thoughts about my body.. about not being a mom... about how far I have to go..... a few hours into the negativity I chose to eat 4 cookies and a small glass of milk. My first real Off the Plan moment.
The only Medifast foods I have left are shakes and soups......... so today was an off day in general.
I am choosing to be honest and transparent. Even though I am scared of disappointing my friends and family , I am choosing to be honest about it all.
Meal 1- MF Chocolate shake
Meal 2- MF cappuccino
Meal 3- 4 oz nuts
Meal 5- 1/4 cup Cottage cheese
Meal 6- 3 oz salmon with a tad olive oil
off plan- 4 choc cookies and 8 oz milk
off plan- movie theater popcorn and diet coke
off plan- when I returned from movie- 4 more cookies and 8 oz milk
EEEKK- At this point I am more 'worried' about disappointing friends and family than worrying about disappointing myself and the Lord. (I know God loves me regardless that's not what I'm saying)
This is an issue... I should be more concerned about not reaching my goals than worrying about what my peeps are going to think.
These off plan choices are not going to stop me from my goals.
Tomorrow is going to be another challenging day because I don't have good medifast choices. I was hoping my new shipment of food would come today but I guess it will arrive on Monday.
So, tomorrow Shakes and Soups and Salmon it is!
I made bad choices today in moments of weakness.. I let my guard down by dwelling on negativity. My negative thoughts lead to negative emotions.... my negative emotions left me weak to then make negative choices.
This reminds me of the Bible verse in Proverbs that talks about us dwelling on things that are TRUE and LOVELY. The Bible is truly the source of all wisdom.
Tomorrow is a new day... I know that I need to learn so many more lessons as to why I continue to turn to food to try to comfort me and my 'issues'. I know I need wisdom from the Bible and from the Holy Spirit. and I know God loves me so much that He wants me to walk in the Freedom that is already mine! and yet I turned to temporal chocolate chip pleasure and salty cardboard popcorn at the movies.....
I don't look on myself with eyes of self-loathing as I am soon to lay my head down to sleep. That self-loathing will only lead to more negative emotions leading to negative choices.
So I look on myself tonight with eyes of forgiveness. Today was a day... but tomorrow is a new day!
Goals- 50 pounds by end of June.
Positive choices I did make today- Salmon.... cottage cheese.... and nuts
Choices to make tomorrow- More water... 5 Medifast 'meals' and salmon/ veggies.
I will NOT BE STOPPED! My dreams are worth more than temporal pleasures!!!!!
I am still a tightly wrapped 'bud' waiting to bloom.....
#FORWARD
Thursday, February 14, 2013
V-Day
Meal 1- Choc pudding
Meal 2- Vanilla shake
Meal 3- Peach Oatmeal
Meal 4- Pizza bites
Meal 5- V-DAY DINNER with hubs, On The Border Taco salad- heck yes (seasoned ground beef, salsa, sour cream, lettuce, cheese) ONE chip dipped in salsa , and 100 calorie Fresh Lime Skinny (lime juice and tequila)
Meal 6- Medifast soft served mint chocolate with a dab FF coolwhip
Besides the one chip and the 100 calorie lime juice/tequila drink I think I was completely on plan. I feel very good about my choices. I had a lovely evening with my man... I was Completely Present in the moment enjoying the Mexican music... the flavors.. the smells.. my guy.
What I used to eat at On the Border:
An entire bowl of chips and salsa- 430 calories
Strawberry Margarita- 400 ish
Ground beef Chimichanga- 1400
Rice and beans-300
Lots of sour cream and Salsa- 120 approx.
Grand total- aprox 2650 calories yikes... that is about as many calories I eat in TWO DAYS now.
Instead of a frozen strawberry margarita for 400 calories I had a margarita on the rocks with lime juice and tequila- 100 calories
Instead of an Entire bowl of chips I had ONE chip
Instead of a fried chimichanga and rice and beans I had ground beef over a bed of lettuce with salsa and 2TBS sour cream and it was flippin really good.
Happy Valentines Day! God is Love... God is Good..
Meal 2- Vanilla shake
Meal 3- Peach Oatmeal
Meal 4- Pizza bites
Meal 5- V-DAY DINNER with hubs, On The Border Taco salad- heck yes (seasoned ground beef, salsa, sour cream, lettuce, cheese) ONE chip dipped in salsa , and 100 calorie Fresh Lime Skinny (lime juice and tequila)
Meal 6- Medifast soft served mint chocolate with a dab FF coolwhip
Besides the one chip and the 100 calorie lime juice/tequila drink I think I was completely on plan. I feel very good about my choices. I had a lovely evening with my man... I was Completely Present in the moment enjoying the Mexican music... the flavors.. the smells.. my guy.
What I used to eat at On the Border:
An entire bowl of chips and salsa- 430 calories
Strawberry Margarita- 400 ish
Ground beef Chimichanga- 1400
Rice and beans-300
Lots of sour cream and Salsa- 120 approx.
Grand total- aprox 2650 calories yikes... that is about as many calories I eat in TWO DAYS now.
Instead of a frozen strawberry margarita for 400 calories I had a margarita on the rocks with lime juice and tequila- 100 calories
Instead of an Entire bowl of chips I had ONE chip
Instead of a fried chimichanga and rice and beans I had ground beef over a bed of lettuce with salsa and 2TBS sour cream and it was flippin really good.
Happy Valentines Day! God is Love... God is Good..
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
This is for you Kenny!!!!
Monday the 11th weigh in- down 1.8 pounds! woot woot! Total to date- 27ish pounds
My goal is 1.5 pounds a week. Anything above that is fabuloso! If I lose 1.5 pounds a week from now until vacation in July I will be down 50 pounds.
Meal 1- Chocolate shake
Meal 2- Choc pudding
Meal 3- chicken noodle soup
Meal 4- vanilla shake
Meal 5- Some lean- 1/2 cup cottage cheese
Meal 6- MF choc chip pancakes 2 tbs sf syrup some lean- 2 eggs and a smidge 75% ff cheddar cheese
Water water water and raspberry tea
Shout out to my sister in law - Kendra!! I am blessed... she is a keeper. She told me today that she has been frequently checking for a new blog and keeps seeing the broccoli casserole pictures! Love her. So this one's for you Kenny!
Yesterday had it's moments... but I made it through! and didn't divert from the plan!
So... To do a 5k muddy run or not to do a 5k muddy run... this is the question.
Part of me knows I need to be stretched and face my fears... and part of me says, No.. Too Soon.
It would probably be in Mid June. So that would be 4 months to train for it.... eeek!!!!! seems too much... but my besties keep trying to convince me that I can do it. The website below is the one we are thinking about. It does look fun... in a horribly scary terrifying way. LOL
http://www.godirtygirl.com/
The name of the website sounds shady but I promise it is legit. Ha!
I have to admit though... I've got baby on the brain lately. When I was single forever I always wondered if God would bring me a husband. I doubted He would many a time. A few months before I met Mike I became more peaceful and more confident that God could and would do it. However.. the lesson has returned! Now I am waiting to see if I will be a mother some day and I doubt at times whether He will allow this to dream to come true. So.. this big girl has baby on the brain. I will continue to surrender my dreams and live life to the fullest. I desire to grow in my spirit and shrink my outer shell. I desire to be transparent like the leaves below... that when the Sun shines through all who are looking will see what I am really made of.
My goal is 1.5 pounds a week. Anything above that is fabuloso! If I lose 1.5 pounds a week from now until vacation in July I will be down 50 pounds.
Meal 1- Chocolate shake
Meal 2- Choc pudding
Meal 3- chicken noodle soup
Meal 4- vanilla shake
Meal 5- Some lean- 1/2 cup cottage cheese
Meal 6- MF choc chip pancakes 2 tbs sf syrup some lean- 2 eggs and a smidge 75% ff cheddar cheese
Water water water and raspberry tea
Shout out to my sister in law - Kendra!! I am blessed... she is a keeper. She told me today that she has been frequently checking for a new blog and keeps seeing the broccoli casserole pictures! Love her. So this one's for you Kenny!
Yesterday had it's moments... but I made it through! and didn't divert from the plan!
So... To do a 5k muddy run or not to do a 5k muddy run... this is the question.
Part of me knows I need to be stretched and face my fears... and part of me says, No.. Too Soon.
It would probably be in Mid June. So that would be 4 months to train for it.... eeek!!!!! seems too much... but my besties keep trying to convince me that I can do it. The website below is the one we are thinking about. It does look fun... in a horribly scary terrifying way. LOL
http://www.godirtygirl.com/
The name of the website sounds shady but I promise it is legit. Ha!
I have to admit though... I've got baby on the brain lately. When I was single forever I always wondered if God would bring me a husband. I doubted He would many a time. A few months before I met Mike I became more peaceful and more confident that God could and would do it. However.. the lesson has returned! Now I am waiting to see if I will be a mother some day and I doubt at times whether He will allow this to dream to come true. So.. this big girl has baby on the brain. I will continue to surrender my dreams and live life to the fullest. I desire to grow in my spirit and shrink my outer shell. I desire to be transparent like the leaves below... that when the Sun shines through all who are looking will see what I am really made of.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Day 41: food pictures
Some folks have been wondering what my Medifast stuff looks like. Here are some pictures of what I eat. :) Yum... the Broccoli Cheesy Casserole is in the oven as I type.
Broccoli cheesy casserole- from Sandy's Kitchen blog (before it's cooked)
Before the cheese
FAVORITE
Day 40
Meal 1 pancake, sf syrup
Meal 2 choc pudding
Meal 3 parm cheese crisps (not my fave but I have to get through the box)
Meal 4 2 oz turkey taco meat, 2 tsp salsa, 1tsp sour cream, 1/8 cup shredded cheese
Meal 5 Cobb salad at Rainforest cafe (promptly put the hunk of bread to the side that it came with)
Rum& diet coke (sigh.. was hoping I would like it.. but really didn't, I like my cocktails sweet) that's ok... don't need it
Meal 2 choc pudding
Meal 3 parm cheese crisps (not my fave but I have to get through the box)
Meal 4 2 oz turkey taco meat, 2 tsp salsa, 1tsp sour cream, 1/8 cup shredded cheese
Meal 5 Cobb salad at Rainforest cafe (promptly put the hunk of bread to the side that it came with)
Rum& diet coke (sigh.. was hoping I would like it.. but really didn't, I like my cocktails sweet) that's ok... don't need it
Weekend are tough. I always seem to lose track of time... don't drink enough water..and want to eat alot. But I didn't do too shabby. I probably had too many condiments..but in the grand scheme of things: not too shabby.
DOMESTIC DIVA: Scrubbed my stove up nice and shiny! I should have taken before and after pictures..it was pretty crusty. Now for Maintenance!! I do a great job of cleaning... but not so great on maintaining. So...this is my new goal. My 30 day cleaning challenge isn't going so well. I'm cleaning a little every day but not as much as the schedule says.. so this week I will make all efforts to do so. After I scrubbed my stove my nails needed some love.
My fingers are slimming down too. :) 5 weeks ago my wedding rings were stuck. Absolutey couldn't get them off. (Maybe God's fun way during our first challenging year of marriage, to say- you ain't goin nowhere!) p.s.- our marriage is better than ever by God's Grace.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Day 40- Blizzard Caren
Last night was rough. Not because of Blizzard Nemo but because of Blizzard Caren- the ice queen.
I am thankful for a new dawn... a new beginning... ground covered white... God's love and sacrifice has clothed me in white as well= so thankful.
My frustrations built throughout the day and by 630 at night I was a hot mess. Freaking out on the hubs... being angry with God... wanting to throw things... crying, yelling... ugh. just keepin it real folks.
It's interesting when I overhear or blatantly here women saying things like, "my daughter is 31, she is trying to get pregnant , but you know she is past the perfect age for child bearing so I am worried about her". That was a doozy for me to hear yesterday.... I literally walked away from the 2 people talking because I COULD NOT hear anymore. Daggers to the heart..... I wish God would shield me from these crazy conversations. I know though that He uses this pain to shape me into the person I am.. I will be..
Come to find out women say the craziest things...... I know I have said crazy things too by accident so I'm not judging... just venting. When it comes to babies... pregnancies... body image ..women say crazy things. The problem is , these matters are matters of the heart... a women's heart ..which is a fragile thing. So I hereby apologize for any crazy, off the cuff comments, that I may have made that have hurt someone without me knowing.
So, between the crazy comments I heard yesterday... the deep deep desire to be a mother and knowing that it is still a long way off from happening... and then knowing that my 'child bearing years' are rapidly coming to a close PLUS I couldn't self medicate with bad food = I kinda lost my marbles. During my blizzard of emotions the feeling of despair crept in... the feeling of hopelessness crept in. I haven't had any of those emotions in 39 days and it was disturbing to go there again.
SO-- I have 2 choices today as I begin my 40th day on Medifast/ Take Shape for Life
1- wallow in self pity ... be angry at my hubs, blaming him for all my troubles when he doesn't deserve that.. be angry at God because of my circumstances, when that clearly won't get me anywhere... choose to go off plan for instant gratification
OR
2- STAND UP AND FIGHT!
I choose LOVE and PEACE... FORGIVENESS and HOPE!!
I choose Medifast pancakes, Medifast chocolate pudding and Blueberry Tea with stevia!
I choose cleaning and reading and laughter and shoveling!
I choose HOPE!
His mercies are new EVERY morning. Because of Christ, my craziness is washed white as snow.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Day 38- Mexican Chicken Cauliflower Goodness
Meal 1- Cappuccino
Meal 2- Chocolate pudding
Meal 3-Chocolate pudding
Meal 4- Chicken Noodle Soup
Meal 5- Lean N Green http://www.sandyskitchenadventures.com/2013/02/mexican-chicken-and-cauliflower-rice.html Mexican Chix Cauliflower Goodness Above is the link to see the recipe yourself. IT WAS SOOO GOOD!!!
Meal 6- Chocolate pudding with 2 TBS Fatfree coolwhip
I am soo loving this plan. I have energy ALL day long. I haven't really thought about it until today, but everyone at work was complaining about being tired mid afternoon. I have not had an afternoon slump since before the plan!
My department at work is participating in a Weight Loss competition with other departments. All my co workers are complaining about eating carrots and being hungry all the time as I'm sipping on my cappuccino and eating my chocolate pudding with energy to spare! woot woot!
The following section is something I wrote to my co workers today after our weekly weigh in. People seemed down and to have lost some of their motivation.
What are our goals? Corporately as a team I know we set a goal for us to lose 115 during the challenge.
I mean Individually--- what are your goals? Are you focusing too much on what you are being denied instead of the amazing things you can gain?
Are you focusing too much on what you CAN’T HAVE instead of what you CAN HAVE when you achieve your goals?
Is your goal to fit into that awesome cute summer dress?
Is your goal to get up a flight of stairs without puffing and panting?
Is your goal 10 pounds, 25 pounds or 50?
SET YOUR VISION FOR YOUR DREAMS! Without a vision , without clear goals it will be easy to fall away.
I have struggled with my weight my ENTIRE life. Even pictures of me as a child I am chubby as all get out. This is the FIRST time that I have specific goals for myself instead of the generic- I want to lose weight. And my specific goals are what is keeping me strong! Summer time is coming and this big girl wants to walk a beach, ride a bike and look cute cute cute!
WE CAN DO THIS! WE ARE DOING THIS! DON”T GIVE UP!!!!!
Set your goals and AIM HIGH!!! I am very thankful for all of your support. I have to say that our team is DEFINITELY the best- in overall personality , drive, and spunk! Love Us!
I'm starting to feel pretty again. :)
I'm getting smaller! #300+pound Diva :)
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Day 36- French Fries
Craving Fries... greasy yummy fries....
But it's all good cuz You can't Beat me Mr. French Fry!
WEEK 5 weigh in yesterday- down another 4.6 pounds from last monday! Woot Woot! Total-25.4
Meal 1- caramel crunch bar
Meal 2- Hot cocoa
Meal 3- Noodle Soup
Meal 4- Hot cocoa
Meal 5 Lean n Green- Grilled Chicken, salad, Caesar dressing, feta cheese
Meal 6- Brownie
Tons of water and 2 cups o Blueberry hot tea.. yum
I can move faster.. breathe easier... sleep better... and smile bigger. I can tie my shoes easier and my clothes are Loose Loose Loose! You Can't Beat Me Mr. French Fry! Summer is a comin!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
1 month pictures :)
Well... Here is my moment of truth. Putting up the Before pictures!
Its kind of scary putting these up because I am revealing all the rolls in their glory.
But Hey... I had to start somewhere! and the one month pics following make me feel better. :)
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BEFORE 1.1.13
2.1.13 - 25 lbs
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| BEFORE 1.1.13 |
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| BEFORE 1.1.13 |
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| BFORE 1.1.13 |
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| 2.1.13 -25 lbs |
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| SASSY BEFORE 1.1.13 |
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| SASSY 2.1.13 |
I decided to take a Before sassy shot because I want to remind myself after I have lost all the weight that even though I weighed over 300 pounds I still was a Beautiful Sassy Girl!
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